以下是這篇諷刺文章的中文翻譯（原文出自幽默網站 The Beaverton，請以幽默眼光閱讀）：
Greece demands Iran pay 800 billion euros in reparations from Greco-Persian wars
April 9, 2015 by Luke Gordon Field ( @lukemaybefunny )
希臘要求伊朗為希波戰爭賠償 8,000 億歐元
2015 年 4 月 9 日
作者：Luke Gordon Field（@lukemaybefunny）
雅典——在「恰到好處的時機」向德國提出要求，要求其就二戰佔領希臘進一步賠償之後，希臘政府如今又進一步要求伊朗政府支付更大筆金額，以補償公元前 5 世紀古波斯對希臘多次入侵所造成的損失。
「我們的會計人員根據大流士與薛西斯多次入侵所造成的損害，計算出一個公平的賠償金額，」希臘副財政部長狄米崔斯·馬爾達斯（Dimitris Mardas）表示。「他們計算出我們應得 8,150 億歐元，或是 600 袋銀幣德拉克馬——看最高領袖阿亞圖拉想怎麼付都可以。」
希臘方面表示，這筆債務來自於希臘人的死亡損失、數百萬投入在餵養、安置與裝備多支軍隊的費用，以及向波塞頓祭獻大量牲畜以換取「憤怒之風」襲擊波斯艦隊的高昂開銷。
「更別提我們花在占卜師、哲學家，還有給士兵們發洩用的男孩身上的錢，」馬爾達斯補充說：「你以為他們是義務服務嗎？」
不過伊朗政府顯然無意理會這項要求。總統哈山·魯哈尼（Hassan Rouhani）表示：「賠償問題早在 2006 年就結束了，當時伊朗透過購買電影《300壯士》的票房，已經向希臘支付了數億美元。」
據報導，截至截稿時，希臘政府已正式告知土耳其政府：只要借個……比如說 50 塊錢，希臘就可以忘掉整個鄂圖曼帝國的事。
若你需要我將這段文本作為諷刺文學教材、政治寓言範例進一步分析，也可以告訴我！
Greece demands Iran pay 800 billion euros in reparations from Greco-Persian wars
April 9, 2015 by Luke Gordon Field ( @lukemaybefunny )
Photo Credit
ATHENS – Following a conveniently timed demand that Germany pay further reparations arising from its occupation of Greece during WWII, the Greek government has gone on to demand the government of Iran pay an even larger amount to compensate Greece for repeated invasions by Ancient Persia in 5th Century BCE.
“Our accountants came up with a fair calculation based on damage done during the many invasions of Darius and Xerxes,” said deputy finance minister Dimitris Mardas. “They have calculated that we are owed $815 billion Euros, or 600 sacks of silver Drachmas, whatever the Ayatollah would prefer to pay.”
Greek authorities say the debt accrues from the loss of Greek life, the millions spent to feed, house and equip several armies, as well as the extreme cost of making enough animal sacrifices to Poseidon to get him to unleash “the winds of fury” upon the Persian ships.
“Not to mention how much we spent on soothsayers, philosophers and young boys for our soldiers to have sex with. You think they worked for free?” asked Mardas.
However the Iranian government did not appear ready to acquiesce to Greece’s demands. President Hassan Rouhani stated “the matter of reparations was closed in 2006, when Iran paid Greece hundreds of millions of dollars in the form of box office sales for the movie 300.”
At press time Greece had officially informed the government of Turkey that it would forget about the whole Ottoman Empire thing if it could just borrow, like, 50 bucks.
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