佩洛西的人情世故

 小汤米-达莱桑德罗长期以来一直与文森特-帕米萨诺不和。

但他最痛苦的不满不是他们之间的野心冲突，也不是他们对FDR的忠诚度的分歧。

而是帕尔米萨诺在他家最悲惨的时刻，即1934年三岁的尼古拉斯死于肺炎时，连一个同情的姿态都没有做出。

"他甚至没有尊重我，让我来探望我的孩子，"达勒桑德罗几十年后说。

那时他已经是个老人了，但他并没有忘记。

"我曾经在他生病的时候去看他。

我不认为当你从政时这是个人的事。

"

Tommy D’Alesandro Jr. had long been at odds with Vincent Palmisano. But the most painful grievance he nursed wasn’t their clash of ambitions or their differences over fealty to FDR. It was Palmisano’s failure to make even a gesture of sympathy to his family at its saddest moment, when three-year-old Nicholas died of pneumonia in 1934. “He didn’t even have respect for me to come and visit my boy,” D’Alesandro said decades later. He was an old man by then, but he hadn’t forgotten. “I used to go see him when he was sick. I didn’t think it was personal when you’re in politics.”

 

这是他女儿永远不会忘记的另一个教训。

她明白表达敬意的力量，分享生活中的欢乐和艰辛--这是一种真诚的人性姿态，可以肯定的是，这种姿态建立了持久的关系。

两位前参议院多数党领袖，共和党人鲍勃-多尔和民主党人哈里-里德，都高兴地告诉我，她每年都会通过送她标志性的白色兰花来记住他们的生日。

"多尔说："我不同意她的哲学，但我同意她作为一个朋友。

当我们交谈时，他离庆祝他的九十七岁生日还有几个星期，并期待着每年的送礼。

That was another lesson his daughter would never forget. She understood the power of paying respects, of sharing life’s joys and hardships—a sincere gesture of humanity, to be sure, and one that built enduring relationships. Two former Senate majority leaders, Republican Bob Dole and Democrat Harry Reid, each told me with delight that she remembered their birthdays every year by sending her signature white orchids. “I don’t agree with her philosophy, but I agree with her as a friend,” Dole said. When we talked, he was a few weeks from celebrating his ninety-seventh birthday, and looking forward to the annual delivery.

 

在悲痛的时候，她会为那些失去亲人的人，为盟友和对手，为杰出的和不那么杰出的人腾出时间。

At times of grief, she would make time for those who had lost a loved one, for allies and adversaries, for the prominent and the not so prominent.

 

当一位曾报道过她的华盛顿记者失去母亲时，佩洛西送去了她自己母亲写的一首关于母爱的诗。

在2018年的选举日，当她面临对她的时间和注意力的无尽要求时，她在一位丈夫刚刚去世的前同学的公寓里坐了一个多小时，仿佛她没有其他地方可以想去。

When a Washington reporter who had covered her lost her mother, Pelosi sent a poem about motherhood that her own mother had written. On Election Day in 2018, when she faced endless demands for her time and attention, she sat for more than an hour at the apartment of a former classmate whose husband had just died, as though there was nowhere else she could possibly want to be.

 

当国会学者诺曼-奥恩斯坦（Norman Ornstein）为他的儿子守灵时，他的儿子在34岁时死于一场不幸的事故，佩洛西来到他家，与这个悲伤的家庭呆了三个小时，尽管这段时间她很忙，在第114届国会的开幕日。

"她没有必要这样做，"奥恩斯坦说。

"她本可以发一张纸条；她本可以来，表达她的敬意，然后离开。

" 那是在2015年；当他在五年后告诉我这个故事时，他开始为这段记忆哭泣。

And when congressional scholar Norman Ornstein was sitting shiva for his son, who had died in a tragic accident at age thirty-four, Pelosi came to his house and stayed with the grieving family for three hours even though it was a hectic time for her, during the opening days of the 114th Congress. “She didn’t have to do that,” Ornstein said. “She could have sent a note; she could have come, paid her respects, and left.” That was in 2015; when he told me the story five years later, he began to weep at the memory.